It’s January. On the planet of baseball NOTHING is going on of consequence within the minors. On a mind-mannered Wednesday afternoon the Portland Pickles, which I guarantee you is an actual group, determined to show over their Twitter account to their mascot — and it didn’t take lengthy earlier than issues went actually, actually, actually unhealthy.
Warning: I’m about to indicate you a photograph of a pickle’s penis. I don’t even know if it is a NSFW warning, as a result of I’ve no means of understanding what your workplace coverage is because it pertains to mascot genitalia.
The Pickles turned their account over to “Dillon,” who’s their mascot — and truthfully, a extremely good title for a pickle, however what’s NOT good is seeing his bizarre pickle junk. It didn’t take lengthy earlier than folks misplaced their marbles at seeing the pickle dick, so the group was pressured to situation a press release.
We’ve got ended our mascot takeover. It’s come to our consideration that this photograph might be misinterpreted as a disturbing picture. Dillon want to go on report and say that he was attempting to present his followers a thumbs up. https://t.co/5VUgkhieq2
— Portland Pickles (@picklesbaseball) January 12, 2022
The unique image tagged Manscaped, the boys’s grooming model, main us to consider this was all a sponsorship gone flawed — nevertheless it’s nonetheless left me with a variety of mechanical questions. I’m main this in gently as a result of it’s your likelihood to bail now and get away from this, as a result of I must put my emotions on the web.
Okay warning over, let’s dive in.
Should you’re pickle and also you present your penis, then what’s a pickle’s penis? I imply, at greatest it’s a pickle protuberance, which ought to in all probability be evaluated by a pickle medical skilled to make sure this isn’t a cancerous tumor. If we assume that is certainly a pickle penis, what’s the aim of it? Does a pickle urinate brine? I do know that sounds gross, nevertheless it’s much better than imagining a pickle has kidneys able to producing dilute urea for the elimination of waste.
There’s simply no great way round any of this. You possibly can say we’re in an actual … pickle.