Friday, September 29, 2023
HomeCyclingApril Showers – Bike Snob NYC

April Showers – Bike Snob NYC

Additional to yesterday’s submit, a reader made the next remark:

Nicely, being uncool is a ardour of mine, and I headed on to a preferred public sale website the place I turned the proud proprietor of this garment:

That is going to go completely with the Normcore Nostalgia Bike and my Spal-deen bicycle helmet:

Which implies I’m formally prepared for the 5 Boro Bike Tour:

I actually am going to journey the 5 Boro Bike Tour, by the best way, since my son desires to do it. We’re going to CRUSH IT just like the late Lawrence Orbach. (Sure, sadly, he’s now not with us, he died in a freak accident whereas driving laps in Prospect Park; his Spinergy exploded and he was impaled on one of many spokes. His final phrases have been, “In your left.” What an important man.)

Talking of the Normcore Nostalgia Bike, after acquiring its predecessor all these years in the past, one of many first issues I did was take it to Central Park. So it solely appeared becoming to go down there right this moment:

It was threatening rain, which was additionally becoming, because the Trek was my “rain” bike. (Think about, a rain bike that may’t even take correct fenders! Oh, to be younger…) The park was quiet, other than the skilled canine walkers strolling like 50 canine every, and the flora was simply beginning to bloom in earnest:

I felt as if I had the park to myself, and the flowering bushes have been paying obeisance to me by casting petals in my path:

Simply as I left the park, the rain began to fall in earnest, and by the point I received house I used to be soaked all the best way right down to my underpants. (I used to be biking in denims, after all.) Thank goodness for that tiny seatpost-mounted filth prophylactic, which at greatest purchased me a further 4 minutes of posterior dryness, if that.

Sure, spring means one factor to Individuals, and that factor is “allergic reactions.” However it additionally means baseball, and go away it to the native smugness media to one way or the other reveal an anti-bike agenda that isn’t even there:

Sure, they hate bikes as a result of you’ll be able to’t deliver your helmet into the stadium:

Firstly, no one’s complaining in regards to the helmet coverage. Stadiums and arenas have all types of weird insurance policies about what you’ll be able to herald and what you’ll be able to’t (they gained’t even let you could have the cap once they promote you a disgustingly overpriced bottle of water), and never with the ability to deliver a big brick of exhausting foam in with you doesn’t even register on the Absurd-O-Meter. If there was pent-up demand to deliver bicycle helmets into Yankee Stadium you may be positive some enterprising soul could be operating a “helmet valet” operation down the road. Secondly, the one factor there’s much less of a requirement for than bringing bicycle helmets to ball video games is second-hand bicycle helmets, which is why no one goes to steal yours when you go away it together with your bike. See, individuals steal stuff that has worth on the black market, like catalytic converters, or child system, or, you understand, your bike. However completely no one has any use for or curiosity in your disgusting smelly helmet–not even the perverts who purchase used biking shorts? (Ahem, so I’ve heard.) Certain, you need to most likely run a cable via it or one thing so some bored teenager doesn’t resolve to punt it down the road like a soccer, and also you shouldn’t safe it low on the bike as a result of somebody’s liable to let their canine pee on it, however these are actually your solely considerations.

However most significantly…”dear merchandise?” The town is actually giving this stuff away each time you flip round! Who’s driving their bike to a baseball sport in a $250 downhill helmet?

And none of that is even addressing that plenty of these video games finish fairly late, each town’s baseball stadiums have straightforward transit entry, many of those followers are drunk, and so they’re loads higher off taking the prepare house anyway.

Hey, what occurred to fawning the Dutch, who by no means put on helmets? All of a sudden not permitting individuals to stroll round clutching a foam good luck allure is discouraging biking? If something, I applaud this anti-helmet coverage as a daring step in the direction of normalizing biking as transportation.


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