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Is It Unsuitable To Date My Ex-Associate’s Twin?

twin dating issues

If you find yourself drawn to your ex’s twin


Expensive Jack,

Not too long ago, I began casually seeing a lady that I actually like. We appear to hit it off on many various ranges. Feels like a terrific factor, proper?

Nicely, not so quick. A number of years in the past, I dated this identical lady’s an identical twin sister. Our relationship lasted for a couple of 12 months after which ultimately collapsed due to persona variations.

Now, I discover myself on this bizarre scenario. Whereas it’s odd at occasions, it looks like we [the twin] click on. For now, we’re conserving our relationship a secret.

So, are you able to assist me – is it unsuitable up to now my ex’s sister?

-Not sure and confused


Hello, UC,

First, let me thanks for sharing your dilemma and offering some background. I can think about the scenario you might be in is complicated, if not awkward.

Right here’s the factor – it’s common to be drawn to the sibling of somebody we’re courting. Some readers might counsel what I’m saying is “disgusting” and even “gross” however I’m simply conserving it actual with you. It occurs.

That’s why I’m not shocked to study you might be drawn to your ex-girlfriend’s sister. In any case, you had been drawn to a precise (bodily) copy of her a number of years in the past.

Nicely, they might not look precisely the identical however in all the physiological (DNA) ways in which matter, they’re carbon copies.

So, let’s transfer on to the center of your query. Is it unsuitable up to now my ex-girlfriend’s twin?

The reply I’m about to supply is one you could not need to hear however I’m sharing anyway. Give this relationship a number of thought earlier than shifting ahead.

In your notice, you talked about there have been occasions when issues really feel odd. Moreover, you genuinely appear confused about methods to proceed.

When you didn’t come proper out and say it, my sense is your inside voice is elevating considerations. If that’s the case, I extremely encourage you to hear to that voice.

To not stereotype however for lots of fellows, getting along with an identical twins is a serious fantasy. However what they neglect is that whereas twins might look the identical, their personalities are sometimes vastly totally different.

I ought to know as a result of because it seems, I’m an an identical twin.

From laborious discovered expertise, I can share with you that twins usually wrestle with differentiation; a $10.00 time period used to explain the separation of personalities.

A part of the explanation for it’s because (most often) twins usually look precisely the identical. When rising up, lots of us skilled the dynamic the place our dad and mom dressed us in the identical garments as a result of they thought it was “cute” or to economize.

However there’s much more to it.

Throughout early childhood, lots of the friendships that twins have are shared. That’s as a result of twins, by nature, are SUPER shut and are sometimes finest associates with one another.

Whereas which will sound like a cool factor, it presents difficulties with the problem of differentiation, as talked about above.

Lastly, in maturity, the skin world treats twins (no less than in lots of instances) like they’re one unit and never separate individuals. It sucks as a result of, in fact, they (we) are totally different.

Again to the dual courting dilemma …

You talked about in your e mail that each of you may have determined to maintain your relationship underneath wraps – no less than for now. My query to you is – why?

Do you concern your ex’s response? Does the lady you might be seeing need to conceal issues from her sister?


If the reply to both query is sure, I’ve received large information for you so hear up. Your ex is ultimately going to seek out out. Actually, she would possibly know already (intuitively) know.

Twins are extremely intuitive with each other. For causes which can be past my consciousness, all I can let you know is that they’re able to dial into each other’s minds in close to psychic methods.

Associated: Is it unsuitable up to now my good friend’s ex?

I do know that sounds loopy however I’m simply being actual with you. It’s not solely true for the twins I’m associates with additionally personally the case within the relationship with my twin-bro.

Earlier than taking any subsequent steps with this lady, I’d immediately ask her how her sister would really feel concerning the relationship. For instance, will she get pissed? May she develop into jealous? Would it not trigger the 2 of them to get right into a nasty struggle?

If the reply to any of the above is sure, I extremely encourage you to rethink issues. Are you aware the previous axiom of blood being thicker than water? Nicely, it occurs to be true, significantly with regards to twins.

I gained’t bore you with all the psychology right here that’s distinctive to twins as a result of this response would by no means finish. However what I’ll let you know is that the idea of sibling rivalry is a really actual factor and could be amplified by 10 within the case of twins.

Nicely, there you may have it UC – a long-winded response to your query. In case you observed, I didn’t come proper out and say you shouldn’t date this lady. As an alternative, I merely highlighted a number of the distinctive challenges which will pop up as a part of the dynamic.

Sure, the lady you might be courting is little doubt wonderful. And I’m fairly positive the 2 of you might be massively attracted to at least one one other. However as soon as the preliminary glow wears off, the fact is you might be courting your sister’s ex – an individual who additionally occurs to be her twin.

There’s a purpose each of you might be conserving issues quiet. Play the tape in your thoughts. As soon as the connection is out within the open, what do you see because the consequence?

Furthermore, what does the lady you might be courting assume will occur?

The solutions to these questions will largely decide the destiny of no matter occurs. You should definitely write again and tell us how issues panned out.

Do you may have a courting query? Ship your inquiries to [email protected]



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