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Journaling for a New 12 months — Remedy For Black Ladies

Session 239: Journaling for a New 12 months

Dr. Pleasure: Hey, y’all! Thanks a lot for becoming a member of me for Session 239 of the Remedy for Black Ladies podcast. We’ll get proper into the episode after a phrase from our sponsors.


Dr. Pleasure: On the finish of a yr, I sometimes prefer to share some journal prompts so that you can write and mirror on. However I spotted we hadn’t ever really talked about why journaling will be so useful and how one can get began, so we’re gonna dig into this right now. Becoming a member of me for this dialog is Olivia F. Scott.

Olivia is the founder and principal marketing consultant of Omerge Alliances, an built-in advertising communications consultancy. She additionally creates group and office wellness experiences through her Freedom At The Mat profit company. Olivia and I chatted about what journaling can unlock in our lives, the way to get began with a journaling apply, and he or she shares an exquisite journaling train so that you can wrap up 2021 and put together for 2022. If there’s one thing that resonates with you whereas having fun with our dialog, please share it with us on social media utilizing the hashtag #TBGinSession. Here is our dialog.

Dr. Pleasure: Thanks a lot for becoming a member of me right now, Olivia.

Olivia: Thanks a lot for having me. You understand how a lot of a fan I’m of yours and of Remedy for Black Ladies, so I am grateful to be right here. Sincerely.

Dr. Pleasure: You understand, I feel we speak rather a lot right here on the podcast, and simply usually, and I do know you utilize your platform to speak in regards to the significance of journaling. Are you able to speak to us and provides us a definition of what we imply after we say journaling?

Olivia: I’m going to be broad with that as a result of I like to provide us grace. I feel if we are saying that journaling is “solely this,” then individuals normally, they are not going to do it. If we are saying journaling is you need to write one thing down, it is obtained to be 5 sentences large on the right-hand web page, each day while you go to bedtime… I prefer to say that journaling is simply chronicling my ideas. I discover that I’ve completely different journals in several rooms and in my purses–I’ve them in every single place. And when I’ve a sense that involves me, I be certain I get it out. And so I’ve discovered that there’s a lot launch.

When there’s one thing that is heavy on my spirit, Dr. Pleasure, and it is one thing that I am wrestling with, I have not fairly been in a position to get it to a good friend, I do not wish to gossip about it, maybe it is an unformed opinion round one thing however it’s a sense that I’ve, then I’ll simply write it out. And I have been doing that rather a lot recently the place it could be two sentences and it is going to be like: This occurred and this made me really feel this fashion; I’m not pleased; this hurts; it hurts after I take into consideration how this went down. And I simply go away it there. There is not any decision. Now, there are some occasions journaling is a little more formal. After I go on a visit, we go on holidays and we could also be journaling each single day, however I’d by no means wish to limit us to it having to be that constant and in a sure format. And we do not merely have the power to try this each single day.

Dr. Pleasure: Once you’re saying like I’ve a special journal in numerous completely different locations and it would not should be formal or structured, what are a number of the advantages of journaling?

Olivia: I feel there’s a profit to us connecting with our interior divine, our spirit. And our spirit is telling us each day, by our ideas and our emotions, the way to conduct our lives. I actually consider that. And so if there’s one thing that is in your spirit or your coronary heart or your thoughts, and also you get it out, you are in a position to, to begin with, launch it, take a look at it, acknowledge it, after which decide about the way you wish to transfer ahead. And it holds you accountable, too, Dr. Pleasure. Should you’ve written one thing down in your handwriting, it is like that is how I am feeling proper now. Now, what we all know is emotions change so it could change the following day, however that is what I am feeling proper now and this does not really feel actually good to me. And you may come again to it a few days later, when one thing else maybe occurs, to be like that is what I used to be considering. I used to be considering that.

And I’ve a very nice instance. I used to be married, fantastic ex-husband, fantastic, we’re nonetheless associates to at the present time. However I would had some reservations earlier than we married and I used to be journaling actually deep at the moment. And that was that, we obtained married. Once we moved from our condo, (I by no means instructed this story earlier than) after we moved from our condo in Harlem to Jersey, I went again after the movers had cleared out our condo and I simply needed to verify that they had every thing. And there was one factor that that they had left behind on the ground in our bed room, and that was certainly one of my journals. I flipped by this journal and I discovered all of my entries the place I had been questioning–ought to I get married, is that this the best time, is that this the best accomplice? It was all these things on this journal. And I sat on the ground and I wept. I used to be like, you really will not be loopy. You had been really questioning this fashion earlier than, and right here you’re in a path of tears transferring from Harlem to Newark, making an attempt to make this factor higher, however you had been questioning it.

For me, to reply your query immediately, that journaling course of permits me to attach for a second with my spirit, join with my ideas. My ideas are mine, I haven’t got to hearken to anyone else. That is between me, myself and my God, and that is how I am feeling, and I wish to honor myself by writing these few phrases about what I am considering and the way I am feeling. And I will have the ability to maintain myself accountable by coming again to this over time. If I preserve having the identical thought time and again, I would must do one thing about it, and if that thought is haunting me. To me, that is the good thing about journaling, is simply getting it out and having a reckoning with it. I discover that journaling is an efficient means of with the ability to simply join. You’re pausing, you’re connecting along with your spirit and saying that is the place I’m proper now, after which that’s therapeutic as effectively.

Dr. Pleasure: Yeah, I feel it is actually cool, particularly if you’re someone who has journaled throughout time, to have a look at the completely different patterns which may come up in your life at like sure occasions of the yr or perhaps round your birthday. I simply assume it is fascinating to type of take a historic take a look at like the place you’ve got come, by journaling, as a result of I feel that simply will be so telling.

Olivia: Completely. I preserve my journals, now I am type of afraid to open them.

Dr. Pleasure: Due to what?

Olivia: As a result of if it is one thing that I had talked about doing or being… And typically I am upset with myself as a result of I typically do new yr’s journaling and I journaled “that is what occurred, that is what I wish to turn out to be, that is what I wish to do,” no matter. And then you definately come again to it a yr later and it is the identical issues? It is like, woman, wait. What are you actually doing? What are you actually doing along with your life? And so I’ve seen that, the place I do know for years I had persistence on the prime of my listing for areas through which I needed to be higher. After which I had I needed to lose 15 kilos, nonetheless by no means misplaced them. It was the identical issues that had been there that confirmed up time and time once more.

I gotta say, I feel that there’s something round journaling and dedication to accountability, too. As a result of you’ll be able to journal all day lengthy, however what is the goal of your journaling? The target of your journaling, personally, would possibly simply be to write down however it won’t be to really have an effect on change in your life, and that is okay, too. I feel that for each particular person, we have now to decide round what the target is of our journaling. It might simply be to write down and simply to type of have some me time.

Dr. Pleasure: Olivia, you deliver up a very good level as a result of I feel I’ve heard from sisters that there is this hesitation round journaling for a number of the similar stuff that you simply stated. Like if I write it down, it makes it actually actual. Or trying again by previous journals after which feeling tremendous judgmental about ourselves for like what we’ve not completed. Are you able to share some recommendations on the way to method this with grace in order that you do not end up on the finish of a yr feeling tremendous unfavorable about all of the issues you have not completed?

Olivia: Completely. Oh my God, do not let the truth that what you say right now goes to influence you tomorrow and do not let that cease you. Nonetheless write as a result of the writing course of is part of your remedy to turn out to be a greater you. I need us all to journal, that is primary. Quantity two, I’d say this. I firmly believed that all of us have a main position in creating the lives that we lead. And, with effort, we will recreate these lives. So for those who see one thing again and again in your journal, Dr. Pleasure, yr after yr, month after month, you are still upset about one thing that occurred and you retain speaking about it time and again, you might have the facility in your gentle to resolve it. You do not have to maintain speaking about it with none decision to it like a merry go spherical. I’d say empower your self to create the decision that that you must have so that you simply’re not having that very same concern or those self same emotions.

However that is why I am telling you, if I write it down… Oh my, there are occasions through which I cover from writing in my journal, Dr. Pleasure, there are occasions after I’m like, oh, I am so overwhelmed by it. I am simply carrying it like a weight in my coronary heart, in my physique, I am carrying these feelings. And that is not good. That journal turns into a heavy load barrier, if you’ll. They assist me carry this load and getting it off my plate. After which at a sure level, I’ll decide on if and the way I will do one thing to resolve it.

Dr. Pleasure: Extra from my dialog with Olivia after the break.


Dr. Pleasure: Such as you stated, the journaling might simply be that you simply write it to get it down. There is not something that claims you need to return to the journal and do one thing with it. It could possibly be that you simply simply left it there.

Olivia: That is it. I am all about being free, that is my entire goal, is for us to reside freer lives. I do not like to inform individuals “that is what it’s.” That is what journaling is, that is what you need to do. You understand, you do not have to make journaling an train in direction of decision. Even for those who do not set out for it to be about decision, I do not foresee (from my life expertise journaling) that you will journal on an ongoing foundation and never have some need to make a change. It is gonna come naturally and organically, proper Dr. Pleasure?

Dr. Pleasure: Proper. As a result of that degree of introspection and sharing your ideas, such as you stated, naturally you are going to most likely wish to return to it and determine like, okay, what is going on on right here? I feel it is actually cool typically when shoppers will deliver their journals into remedy. It may also be an incredible instrument to love additional or open up conversations along with your therapist for those who discover that there are issues that you simply preserve coming again to, and also you wish to deliver journal pages to your session. That is fully welcome and could be a actually nice strategy to transfer remedy ahead.

For people who find themselves desirous to perhaps get began with the apply, though it would not should look a method, what are some recommendations you’d have for the way we will perhaps begin creating a journaling apply?

Olivia: Should you’ve by no means journaled and you do not know the place to begin, a clean web page it’s like as overseas as Greek, I’d invite you to discover a guided journal. That is primary. Quantity two, for these of you who both do not need a guided journal or who you might have a comparatively considerably established apply, I invite you to make a dedication, a small dedication, to some journaling time. And I’d begin off in a really real looking conservative method of as soon as per week. And I would love us to make it right into a journaling ritual, Dr. Pleasure, the place it could possibly be each Thursday evening at 7pm, I will write. And I will have my bottle of wine, I will have my candle lit, and I am simply going to write down.

I’d invite you if that you must, like many individuals who battle with meditation, like myself, you set a timer that goes off. You place the cellphone in “don’t disturb,” it is a sacred ritual while you started that means. After which over time, you’ll start to actually stay up for that introspection and to that pausing in your life, after which you might determine that you simply wish to do it extra continuously. However I feel journaling ritual is one thing that may be fairly lovely and serves two functions of you pausing, creating some self-care, self-love for your self, in addition to you getting some ideas and feelings and emotions out on paper.

Dr. Pleasure: I like that. Do you might have some prompts for individuals to get began with perhaps this weekly journaling ritual that could be useful?

Olivia: Dr. Pleasure, I do have a guided journal at Freedom At The Mat. I’ve one which breaks down three completely different areas and I am pleased to share a few of these areas now. We have soul, thoughts and physique. And for those who get to a clean web page and you are like “the place do I begin,” a number of the prompts that I’ve within the journal assist connecting along with your interior voice. Certainly one of them particularly is, what’s one thing your interior voice continues to let you know to do? Is there a recurring thought that your interior voice is saying, Dr. Pleasure, that you must do that. Giving your self that house to write down and join along with your interior voice.

Different issues I’d discuss or I do discuss, are connecting along with your ideas. Is there a predominant thought that continues to come back to you regularly that you have not completed one thing with? I invite individuals to actually join with themselves. And I’ve a specific immediate the place I say, identify three phrases you’d use to explain your self. And from that, it will circulate–who’re you? Then, we discuss relationships. Is there somebody in your life that you simply simply completely, positively love? Title 5 those who deliver you pleasure. Who’re these 5 individuals? Why do they create you pleasure? And moreover, how are you going to fold them extra into your life? It could possibly be a greatest good friend that lives some other place, are you able to go go to them extra? Are you able to decide to being part of their lives extra? Is it somebody you could perhaps make a cellphone name to? As a result of what I do know, and also you most likely do as effectively, is that we’re all non secular beings having a human expertise, that our lives are all actually made higher by being round those who we love. It is not the issues that make life go round, it is the those who make life go round.

And so actually connecting with, okay, you recognize what, I am feeling some type of means, I ought to name Lisa. So writing that in your journal, like actually connecting along with your soul, what your soul wants. And lots of what I attempt to do after I’m writing is de facto connecting with my soul, Dr. Pleasure. Not connecting a lot with issues that I do for work however how I really feel. Like this factor occurred right now and I am so pleased that this occurred, this made me really feel so good. Or this factor occurred and I really feel horrible that I did that to that particular person. I’m going to return and apologize to them. I strive to spend so much of time with my emotions, how I am feeling right now, and what it’s I am wanting in my life to be completely different and the way I could be a higher particular person.

After which the final one which I’ll share, which is in our guided journal however I’ll simply supply it to all people, is physique. How is your physique feeling? We undergo life each day, you rise up, get off the bed, go to work, blah, blah, however are we actually listening to our our bodies? How is the exercise of our arms, our legs, our ft, our thighs, our hips, our stomach, our backs, our neck? How are we feeling? And simply doing physique scans and checking in with how our general well being is and the way we really feel about our physique. You understand, our physique and our physicality is what encounters with the world each single day–how do you’re feeling about your physique? Which is certainly one of my prompts. How do you’re feeling? On a scale of 1 to 10, how a lot do you like your physique? Do you honor your physique for what your physique presents to the world within the sense of what it lets you do? So these are simply a number of the prompts that I’d supply.

Dr. Pleasure: Thanks for these, these are a superb begin. You talked about somewhat earlier that you simply love to do some new yr’s journaling. And I feel that that is sometimes how we wrap up the yr right here at Remedy for Black Ladies too, is that I’ll sometimes supply some journal prompts for individuals to only mirror on the yr. However I feel that may really feel very grand when you concentrate on the earlier 12 months, particularly in a yr like this yr when there’s been a lot like chaos. What sort of recommendations do you might have or the place can we even get began in reflecting on the yr that has been 2021?

Olivia: Effectively, Dr. Pleasure, will you permit me to take us by somewhat journal train?

Dr. Pleasure: After all, I’d love that.

Olivia: Okay. All people listening, hey! Go forward, discover a journal. If you do not have one in your hand, go get a journal, could possibly be a pocket book. And a pencil or a pen, and simply discover yourselves proper now clearing your ideas. Let’s do some quite simple inhaling and exhaling. Quite simple inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale. Honoring 2021 as a result of we have now made it by yet one more yr. These final two years have been completely, positively insane and so they have threatened to take many people out and so they’ve taken many people out.

The prompts I’ve for us are, primary, are you able to identify one expertise that really introduced you pleasure this yr? What’s one thing that occurred? And I need you to consider it. And for those who do not give it some thought now and also you wish to come again to it, that is high quality, too. However while you look again by January, February, March, April, Could, June, July, August, September, October, November, and now December, what’s an expertise that introduced you pleasure? Why did it deliver you pleasure? How did it make you’re feeling inside?

Subsequent, I need you to call an expertise which may have introduced you some unhappiness, one thing that you simply needed to confront or face. It might have been a lack of some type that you simply needed to undergo. As a result of life is in regards to the pleasure and the ache, so acknowledging each of these. After which I ought to take into consideration the enjoyment and the ache of your 2021. Acknowledging, maybe along with your eyes closed, maybe with them open, that there’s treasure that lies in each. The enjoyment and the ache. I invite you to have a look at your life because it stands proper now, the day through which you are listening to this specific podcast, and ask your self–are you pleased with the life that you’re main? There is not any judgement on that reply. Do not choose your self however simply ask your self. If you wish to rank your self and do a one to 10, high quality, however are you content?

After which if you’re lower than a ten, ask your self, are there previous obstacles that exist to you pursuing or creating the life that you simply really need? Figuring out that every of us, we’re artistic beings, we had been created out of creation. So if there’s something that you simply wish to turn out to be, one thing you wish to be, on this gentle, trusting that every of us was created on function and with a function. That if there is a hole between the place you’re proper now and your whole happiness, you could create your happiness. That doesn’t imply that it is gonna to be with out work. You may need to make some daring strikes, you need to transfer worry out of the best way, however fascinated by what stands between your happiness and your greatest life.

And as we shut this specific train, I invite us to inhale and exhale as we shut, inhaling what’s and exhaling what will be. I all the time do my 4 two 4 respiratory. Simply inhaling one, two, three 4 for what’s, holding for 2. Exhaling 4, three, two, one for what could possibly be. That’s my finish of yr journaling train and I invite you all to actually take the lives that we have now been given by our creator critically–what’s it that that you must do to reside the life that you simply had been created to reside?

Dr. Pleasure: Thanks a lot for that, Olivia. What an exquisite train. I feel it may be an effective way to shut out what has been 2021, thanks for sharing that. Extra from my dialog with Olivia after the break.


Dr. Pleasure: One other factor that you simply speak rather a lot about in your channel is the usage of affirmations, and I feel that can be one thing that extra persons are utilizing as part of their self-care routines and like actually caring for themselves. Are you able to say somewhat bit extra about what affirmations are and when we have to use them?

Olivia: Completely. Should you take a look at the etymology of the phrase aff (to from Latin) and agency, agency. To agency. It is when that you must acknowledge one thing in your life. And I discover that we have to communicate affirmations over our lives, Dr. Pleasure. We have to outline who we’re and what we would like. As a result of we have now a whole world that’s pleased to inform us who to be, the way to be, the place to go, the way to costume, what costume dimension we should always have, what man we should always have, what sort of home, what sort of automobile. However affirmations for us can cement–that is what we’re doing right now. I will probably be robust right now. I can’t have worry. I’ll reside my greatest life. I’ll honor my physique.

I like simply being like, okay, all this craziness is occurring round me, however let me let you know what I’ll and won’t do. And it permits me to face as a girl of character, a girl of integrity. We have all heard that saying that individuals who stand for nothing will fall for nothing and I feel there’s nothing higher to face for than standing for who I’m and what I need in my life. And what I’ll and won’t do and what I’ll and won’t permit in my life.

Dr. Pleasure: Olivia, how can we take care to not dip into poisonous positivity with affirmations, as a result of I really feel like there’s like a high quality line? After I take into consideration poisonous positivity, I am fascinated by these sayings that we inform individuals like every thing will probably be high quality or like there is a cause for this storm. Issues that type of separate you from like really feeling the ache, perhaps, of an expertise which is critical. We’ve already talked about like the enjoyment and the ache that exist as a result of we’re human. And typically I really feel like you need to watch out with affirmations as a result of typically they go too far in pushing you from experiencing the truth of a state of affairs.

Olivia: It is so fascinating as a result of I really bought a set of affirmation playing cards and some of them I am like, that is loopy, I am not saying this. It is like I am completely not saying this. I feel that your affirmations want to come back out of your spirit. It is one thing that’s resolute and divine, for those who ask me, based mostly in your life expertise. It is obtained to be rooted in reality, your reality. In order you are searching for affirmations, I really invite us to look inside. I invite us for every thing to not accomplish that a lot of trying with out, however extra inside. What are issues that you must affirm for your self? That is the place all of my affirmations come from. They arrive from my life expertise and figuring out what it felt prefer to have skilled a sure factor that seemingly was unfavorable. And saying I can’t permit myself for use. I can’t enter right into a relationship through which I’m not honored and cherished. You understand what I imply? It is like what I’ll and won’t do, based mostly on my life expertise. To me, that is the place I consider they need to come from, it’s out of your spirit.

Dr. Pleasure: Yeah, and to your level, I feel lots of people typically get turned off by phrases of affirmation and utilizing affirmations as a result of it does really feel type of tacky. However I feel lots of occasions that cheesiness comes as a result of we’re making an attempt to borrow different individuals’s phrases versus what we actually really feel like we’d like affirm for ourselves, that actually solely we may give us.

Olivia: Dr. Pleasure, ta-da. Interval. Proper right here. That is it. That is what I created myself and if you wish to say them or use your personal phrases, which I invite individuals to do on my channel, like that is what I am saying however say it in your personal means.

Dr. Pleasure: Acquired it. You’ve got already supplied us an exquisite journal train for the way to shut out 2021. Are there extra journal prompts that you’d supply for the way to usher in 2022?

Olivia: I’d invite us to ask ourselves… and it’s much like one of many issues I stated. However what are you doing right here on Earth? And that is broad however I consider lots of us get disconnected with our function, residing on this life. There are issues that occur between us being a hopeful five-year-old little woman and a 25, 35, 45, 55-year-old particular person. And I invite us to ask ourselves, what are we actually doing with our time, what are we doing with our assets and is there one thing completely different that we wish to be doing? As a result of for me, it continues to come back again to (I do know that is being redundant, this a part of it) residing our greatest most free lives ever.

I feel, in that, I’d invite us to do a list of {our relationships}, the corporate, we preserve, Dr. Pleasure. Are there some new those who we wish to invite in our lives? I’d positively write that down. For me, I bear in mind about three years in the past, writing down that I needed to increase my circle, that I needed to attach with extra entrepreneurial ladies, and I simply wrote it down as one thing that I needed. And after writing it down, it heightened my consciousness that there was one thing that I actually needed to draw in my life. After which when varied individuals started to point out up and have interaction me, who had been entrepreneurial ladies, I used to be like that is what I used to be writing about a number of years in the past.

I simply invite us to lean into writing issues which might be on our spirit about issues we wish to appeal to in our lives. In each space–profession, relationship. Even for those who’re married, you’ll be able to all the time have a greater relationship. Profession, relationships, being mother and father. If you’re a enterprise lady, if you’re a church chief, for those who’re a civic chief, there are all the time areas through which we will enhance ourselves.

Dr. Pleasure: Thanks for that. The opposite house that many people are in proper now could be, okay, what can we give to the individuals we love in our lives? And so I really feel such as you’ve given us this lovely present to speak about, like journaling and affirmation. However for individuals in our lives who perhaps are into this or we expect this will probably be an incredible apply for them to undertake, do you might have favourite journals or manufacturers that you simply actually love, that you simply assume we should always have our eye on?

Olivia: Michaels has of their arts and crafts part, they’ve obtained sketch books and so they’ve obtained some journals. I obtained some freeform sketch pads which might be certain, that I take advantage of for my journals, from Michaels. I get lots of items which might be simply journals and I do know they get from Marshalls and HomeGoods and all that stuff there, and I feel these work simply high quality. This isn’t golf and even Pilates or yoga the place this needs to be an costly enterprise. We will go to Marshalls and HomeGoods, wherever you go, and simply get your… And let me let you know one thing. There have been occasions when I’ve been touring (and really, very hardly ever, although) after I don’t have a journal with me, the place I’ll simply should get a notepad from the resort or only a common three ring binder. The entire writing course of, I don’t need there to be any obstacles to it, Dr. Pleasure. No matter you may get your palms on to write down and get it out, do it.

Dr. Pleasure: Olivia, inform us the place we will keep related with you. If you need to share your web site in addition to any social media handles that you simply’d prefer to share.

Olivia: Completely. goes to be the purpose of entry for the place our movies from YouTube are housed. We do have a YouTube channel. I invite all people please to subscribe, it’s free, and we provide affirmations, meditations, mindfulness workouts and yoga. The entire premise with Freedom At The Mat is to make, one, it’s accessible to everybody globally. But additionally, most significantly, we all know that it’s laborious for us to prioritize me time, so our contents we promise are between two minutes and thirty minutes. is the place I’d love for you all to spend a while after which subscribe to our channel on YouTube. After all, we’re on Instagram and Fb, however the core is de facto the YouTube content material. That’s actually the place the core is. We’re additionally on Instagram, @FreedomAtTheMat, in addition to Fb–FreedomAtTheMat.

Dr. Pleasure: Excellent. We are going to remember to embody all of that in our present notes. Thanks a lot for sharing with us right now, Olivia, your lovely dialog in addition to the journal train.

Olivia: Thanks a lot and, once more, I’m so grateful to you for what you’ve created. And I honor each single lady on this planet and I hope that collectively we assist one another in turning into the perfect, most free ladies doable. Mentally free, emotionally free, socially free, in order that we will actually reside life in the best way it was supposed for us to reside.

Dr. Pleasure: Certainly, thanks for that. I’m so glad Olivia was in a position to share her experience with us right now. To be taught extra about her work or to take a look at her YouTube web page with different nice workouts, go to the present notes at And don’t neglect to textual content two of your ladies proper now and inform them to take a look at the episode as effectively.

Should you’re searching for a therapist in your space, remember to try our therapist listing at

And if you wish to proceed digging into this matter or simply be in group with different sisters, come on over and be part of us within the Sister Circle. It’s our cozy nook of the web designed only for black ladies. You may be part of us at Thank y’all a lot for becoming a member of me once more this week. I stay up for persevering with this dialog with you all actual quickly. Take excellent care.


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