In 2019, the common individual spent 144 minutes per day on social media (Clement, 2020). In accordance with Media Dependency Principle, the upper dependence an individual has on media the stronger the affect of media on the person’s perceptions and behaviors (Joo & Teng, 2017, p. 36). A examine carried out in 2018 by Brigham Younger College discovered that in depth social media utilization is linked with decreased emotional wellness and decrease satisfaction in interpersonal relationships (Christensen, 2018). In different phrases, if you happen to suppose your relationship is being negatively impacted by social media, you aren’t being “dramatic,” it truly is.
It’s essential to not downplay or dismiss the position social media performs in relationships. Acknowledging and speaking about it could actually truly assist strengthen your bond.
Let’s spotlight the positives first. A survey carried out by the American Psychological Affiliation discovered that 55% of Gen Z really feel supported by means of social media. Social media permits folks to connect with household and associates who is perhaps on the opposite facet of the world. You may join with individuals who have comparable pursuits who you may by no means meet in any other case. In romantic relationships, the place {couples} are long-distance or must journey usually for work, it could actually assist them really feel like they’re a part of one another’s day-to-day life, even when aside. Social media has additionally change into a hub for psychological well being professionals and relationship consultants like myself—making assist and training that may inspire people and {couples} to hunt assist.
Social Media can change into a risk to your romantic relationship when that means and bounds usually are not clearly outlined and agreed upon. In addition to, when {couples} fall right into a comparability entice.
Which means
Life is filled with symbols that maintain totally different meanings relying on lived experiences, household of origin, and tradition. It’s essential that you simply talk about together with your companion what social media symbolizes and what that means it holds for the 2 of you. Understanding what social media represents for every of you, may enable you perceive how your companion chooses to interact on-line.
Boundaries
Boundaries get a nasty fame. For a lot of, it looks like a “unhealthy phrase.” The reality is that boundaries will let you love the opposite individual in a approach they’ll really feel. Digital boundaries come up in my work with {couples} on a regular basis as a result of all of us reside in a world that’s extra interconnected than ever.
Discuss expectations in regards to the position social media will play in your relationship. Considering that social media and real-life are two totally different parallel areas will solely lead you to really feel pissed off and disenchanted.
Digital boundaries should be mentioned from the beginning of the connection. Contemplate the next:
- Do you replace your relationship standing?
- How a lot do you share about your relationship on social media?
- Who do you comply with?
- What photos do you want or depart feedback on?
- How do you navigate direct messages?
- Do you share your login data together with your companion?
- How a lot time is spent on social media?
COMPARISON
This one is perhaps probably the most difficult one, even for the {couples} who’re self-aware and talk clearly about their engagement on social media. Individuals can go above and past to curate an ideal feed with the improved highlights of their relationship. The gorgeous bouquet of lush flowers, the five-star weekly dinner dates, the romantic beachfront getaways they go on each different weekend, the classic custom-made ring, and the heartfelt poems they write to one another simply because. That is all you see. You don’t see the criticism or the defensiveness. You don’t see them crying. You don’t see the onerous conversations and the vulnerability that accompanies these. You don’t see the behind-the-scenes. But, you evaluate your adequate and imperfect relationship to a wonderfully curated “Instagramable” relationship.
That is the recipe for perpetual disappointment as a result of your actuality won’t ever measure as much as the highlights of another person’s relationship. Oftentimes, if you fall into the comparability entice, your insecurities bubble as much as the floor. Perhaps you are feeling insecure about your companion’s dedication and that is triggered if you see {couples} getting engaged, transferring in collectively, or shopping for their first residence. Perhaps you are feeling insecure since you crave extra high quality time and that is triggered if you see different {couples} occurring common date nights and couples-only holidays. No matter your insecurities, don’t enable social media to gas arguments between you and your companion. Your relationship shouldn’t be much less actual as a result of it’s less than par with the social media requirements of the proper relationship.
- Prioritize high quality time with out social media
- Examine-in together with your companion earlier than you put up about them or your relationship
- Don’t snoop by means of your companion’s social media
- If you happen to wouldn’t do it in- individual, then don’t do it on-line
- Tone and intent are tougher to gauge on-line, so give your companion the good thing about doubt
- Have ongoing conversations about social media and your relationship
FINAL THOUGHT
Regardless of how digitized life is, it’s simple to really feel uncomfortable speaking in regards to the impression social media has on relationships. Social media appears too trivial to argue about. But, it brings up actual emotions and people matter.
Addressing social media boundaries doesn’t must be a colossal problem. Be keen to have open and ongoing trustworthy conversations together with your companion with the purpose of higher understanding one another. Additionally, work collectively to ascertain boundaries that result in emotional and dedication security throughout the relationship.
