It’s 4/20, a.okay.a. “Earth Day for Frat Bros,” which signifies that the 5 Boro Bike Tour is mere days away:
Eleven of them to be exact…in the event you don’t rely immediately. Otherwise you rely the day of the Tour. Fuck it, I dunno, it’s on Could 1st, okay?
And no, I don’t observe 4/20, my slow-wittedness however.
As I discussed at one time or one other (I’m too lazy to determine the place), I’ll be using the Tour this 12 months since my son needs to do it. Additionally, as I could or could not have talked about (I’m too lazy to determine if I’ve or not), I’m going to ABSOLUTELY DESTROY the Tour within the reminiscence of Lawrence Orbach (deceased), the best fictional non-competitive group journey champion the world has ever seen. To that finish, not solely have I been curating the suitable wardrobe:
However immediately I acquired the bike on which I’ll stamp my authority upon the race journey:
There’s a poignant backstory to this which I’ll share nearer to the beginning date. Within the meantime, it’s value noting that the so-called “Delta” brake seems to be much less like its Greek letter namesake and extra like an “A,” and even an upside-down “V.” In the meantime, we name this stuff V-brakes for some purpose:
But any semi-literate individual can clearly see they give the impression of being far more just like the letter “H.” Perhaps a “W” in the event you squint.
No marvel no one respects bicyclists.
No matter you name them, with a view to apply the A-brakes I’ll want loads of grip, so I’ll be swaddling my arms in goatskin:
It’s additionally reassuring to know that if I get hungry I may most likely eat them:
They actually sound each tastier and more healthy than most Fred fuels:
In a sane world you’d be placing these gloves in your mouth and people vitality blocks in your arms–or simply waxing your automotive with them:
Talking of vehicles, as I discussed, my son is test-piloting a Woom NOW youth-sized cargo bike:
A minimum of one reader famous this is also a great possibility for shorter adults. Perhaps so. At $849 it appears moderately priced (I’m too lazy to do actual analysis, however 5 seconds of fashionable search engine jockeying reveals it’s $350 lower than a Yuba Kombi), thus making it a intelligent work-around, like ordering from the child’s menu at a sequence restaurant. (The children’ portion at a sequence restaurant is usually adult-sized, and the adult-size portion is usually elephant-sized.)
Anyway, in a pleasant little bit of irony, immediately my son took the bike on its maiden voyage…so he may go to the Auto Present:
Granted, he’s not using all the way in which to the Auto Present, so he doesn’t get full irony factors, however he did journey it to his good friend’s home, from whence they’ll finally head to the Auto Present, in order that’s one thing.
So does subjecting my kids to the brainwashing of the Automotive Industrial Complicated make me a nasty dad or mum? No, feeding them Burger King for breakfast makes me a nasty dad or mum. As for automotive reveals, youngsters ought to be free to gawk at stuff that’s cool and quick–it’s simply innocent leisure, like watching Marvel motion pictures or taking part in with matches. Anyway, there’s a “Micro Mobility” show this 12 months, which I’ve little doubt will probably be extremely edifying and method extra attention-grabbing than the muscle vehicles and 4x4s:
Simply have a look at this who’s-who of exhibitors, an inventory that may actually have you ever asking, “Who’re these firms?”:
Other than Radio Flyer, in fact, a storied model whose product choices are a miserable tour of the American ID:
Truly, that’s not truthful, this seems to be fairly cool:
A freewheel although…?
Huh.
Then, after trying out the micromobility and making an attempt to journey an e-scooter one-handed whereas carrying a briefcase, you’ll be able to announce, “Fuck it, I’m testing a Hyundai:”
Due to the EV charger pilot program town is operating close to my dwelling I’ve had my very own private auto present over the previous few months and have been in a position to take a look at the most recent fashions:
I’ve additionally glimpsed a future through which streamlined, featureless suppositories sit moored to the curb so far as the attention can see:
All of the sudden gasoline stations don’t appear all that unhealthy.
